when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize