my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
