I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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