its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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