god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
operation have a gay friend backfired
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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