I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize