My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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