and you said cock pushups were impossible
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
