New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
