his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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