Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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