you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
