So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
