Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
