I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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