I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
