I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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