his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize