I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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