It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
