Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
