Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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