Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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