Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
