I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
