I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
