I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
