Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
