Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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