Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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