throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
