i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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