Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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