another moral hangover. fuck.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
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Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
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I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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