when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
