no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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