somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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