All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
