guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize