Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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