so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
