Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
