I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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