he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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