The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
