What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
