on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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