things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
