From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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