her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
