another moral hangover. fuck.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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