she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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