I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can't just leave with hair like that
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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