there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
