Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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