So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
