just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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