so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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