I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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