if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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