i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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