Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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