Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
