I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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